sometimes where you least expect them to be...like in an Ambulance, ER or Hospital Room! These are the places I found my blessings this past weekend. My son, Jay, managed to get a chicken nugget stuck in his esophagus on Thursday night during dinner. This wasn't a dramatic choking, no breathing episode many might picture, but just a "hey mom, I have a piece of chicken stuck in my throat". This is not that uncommon given his medical history, most of it involving his esophagus. I made the usual suggestions, "drink some water" - "try clearing your throat", but they weren't doing the trick this time. No big deal, he'd go to bed and it'd probably work it's way down during the night, except it didn't. By Friday morning I knew we needed to get him to a doctor. His dad took him to a local ER here in Jersey. Both of us were thinking they'd do the usual tests and pluck whatever it is out. We'd been through this before, but it has been a while. When my husband called me at work just before lunch to tell me that they were going to transport him to CHOP ~ I became unglued! This was no ordinary blockage according to his Upper GI and given his medical history this particular team of ER docs felt he needed to be at CHOP. I immediately left work and headed to be with Jay. When we saw each other we both started crying. I held him tight and told him everything was going to be alright. By the time he understood what was happening he started getting very anxious, nervous and so the doctors gave him a sedative. This immediate "calm" that came over Jay brought a huge smile to my face, his face, his dad's face and his nurse's face and then a round of laughter as we watched him get loopy! Blessing ~ How blessed are we to have a medication that will immediately calm my child's nerves? VERY Next came the ride in the ambulance which because of Jay's calm, yet goofy, state of mind he absolutely LOVED! Blessing ~ What a blessing that I am able to ride in the ambulance with my son and watch him enjoy every single second of this amazing ride! We are put in a room in the ER at CHOP and are immediately made to feel right at home. Jay is brought movies and games by the staff and before long he and I are watching "ELF" and playing Connect Four on his ER bed. Blessing ~ Is this really even an ER, 'cause we are way too comfortable and having way too much fun! Before long John and Jean-Louise arrive. Jay's sweet sister runs to his side and gives him a BIG kiss and hug. She is so concerned about him and he is so happy to see her. For a moment they aren't even aware anyone else is watching them as they catch each other up on their day. Blessing ~ I am so grateful they have one another. They are my greatest gift. Jay is taken away for another test so John goes with him and Jean-Louise and I sneak off to the Hospital Cafe to have some dinner. I must admit, the hospital cafe was pretty incredible. I'm not talking 5 stars, but good. Real good. Blessing ~ This is "hospital" food? Okay, I'm impressed. Jay needs to be admitted and John and Jean-Louise will have to go home. Jean-Louise begins to cry because she doesn't want to leave her brother. He's alseep and she gives him a sweet kiss on his forehead. Blessing. I assure her that he will be fine and she can come see him as soon as she wakes up in the morning. Jay and I finally get into a room at 1AM and try to get some sleep. He wants me to sleep with him, so I squeeze next to him and he wraps his arms around me and tells me he's scared. I assure him everything will be okay and he wants me to say a prayer, so I do. He falls fast asleep and holds onto me all night. I drift in and out, but I wouldn't have opted for my own comfy bed for all the money in the world. It was priceless lying there with him...a True Blessing. Jay goes in for an Endoscope Saturday morning. We were told it would take 20, maybe 30 minutes. It took almost 2 1/2 hours. They found a good amount of acid erosion from "asymptomatic reflux" and a couple of small ulcers. This created scaring along the lining of his esophagus. This is why Jay's chicken nugget got stuck, plus the fact that he didn't chew it all to well :) So now what? Well, it's treatable the doctor tells us ~ Blessing. Then she mentions the possibility of surgery. I cry and Jean-Louise cries. I hug her and tell her everything is going to be okay and then I tell her that I don't want Jay to know. We pinky swear and wait for Jay back in the room. Once Jay comes around he can start eating popsicles, water ice, jello and chicken broth. He's a happy boy because he hasn't had anything to eat since Thursday night! Blessing. I go home to shower and grab a few things. When I get home Jay's baseball team has left a get well poster and team photo for him. It was opening day and there was a parade in town, plus their first game. Jay was upset he was missing all of this so I knew the poster and photo were going to really cheer him up. The team won and wrote on the poster that they "won the game for Jay". Tears...Blessing. Jay was thrilled with the poster and photo. We placed it where he could stare at it all he wanted along with a bear and a balloon we bought him the night before. Jean-Louise got to spend the night Saturday night. It was a wonderful treat for her brother and it was very special to me to have both of my babies in the hospital room. Blessing. The kids played "Rock Band" in the play area down the hallway and Jean-Louise loved that you could walk anywhere in the hospital, even the cafeteria, in your pjs! Sunday morning had us prepared for Jay to stay another couple of days as more tests needed to be done to determine the severity of his reflux and if surgery would be required. But, to our surprise, the GI team decided he needed to rest his esophagus a bit longer. The tests will be scheduled for next week and Jay could go home!!! Woo! Hoo! So by yesterday afternoon we were home and Jay was preparing to go back to school the next day. Blessing. He has no restrictions on his activities so that means he can get back to baseball. His only restriction is his diet, which is soft solids (pasta, mashed potatoes, pancakes, ice cream, etc.) until his tests are complete and he has to take acid reflux meds every morning.
We have wonderful neighbors who helped us in so many ways. Blessing.
So, not the weekend we had planned, but still a wonderful weekend nonetheless. I guess it's all how you choose to see it. Moments like these can be real eye openers. And while we had some very stressful moments, we are so grateful for all the blessings we have received.
We've all heard the phrases..."Life is a Journey, Not a Race"..."Take Pleasure in Life's Little Moments", etc. and while I do my very best to practice this in my daily life it is sometimes way too easy to "put off" enjoying the journey and little moments for just a few more minutes until you realize your few minutes have turned into an entire day and then you are making promises to yourself, your children, your spouse, your friends and family that tomorrow will be different! Last week I was an emotional mess. With the changes resulting from the education cuts across NJ hitting our home and finally deciding to move forward on some "ideas" my husband and I have been discussing for a few months now - I allowed myself to become so emotionally drained that I had nothing to give by the end of my day. And trying to keep a happy face for my children only makes my emotional mess even messier :) My husband gave me "pep talks" which I certainly appreciated, but in the end I knew it was up to me to change my attitude and not lose sight of all I hold precious and dear in my world. It is "Spring Break" in our district and the children and I are spending time in Texas visiting family and playing with our newest member, Janelee, my sister's little girl who was born in January. It is the "break" I needed to help me start enjoying the journey again and for that I am thankful. I've visited with my 89 year old grandmother, attended my niece's church dedication, caught up with both of my sisters, enjoyed chai tea with my mom in the mornings and slept in between both of my growing babies at night. I've had the most delicious mexican food and my dad's famous grilled burgers. I've watched Jay and Jean-Louise make their new little cousin smile and giggle - and I've let this precious baby sleep in my arms remembering what it was like when mine were that little. I am so happy to have this time in my life and be so thankful for what my life is right at this very moment. It's all good !
So New Jersey was dealt a serious blow to our public education system when the new governor, Chris Christie, cut $1.5 BILLION dollars in education. For the town of Haddonfield, that I live in and work in, this means a $1.5 million dollar cut. Before his election he did promise some state aid to our district and that amount was included in our 2010-2011 budget, still leaving us with a $300,000 deficit. However, as of today, the Board is dealing with a $1.2 million dollar shortfall and a tentative budget is required by Monday, March 22 with a final budget due by Friday, March 26, 2010. We've been told as employees of the School District that many decisions will be made over the next few days and none of them will be pleasant.
As an employee this has me concerned because we have all been told that no one is safe, not even tenured teachers. But my MAIN concern is the children - the students. How is this going to affect their education? What will become of this little town's exemplary school system that we chose to move into just 2 years ago? We reasoned that the high property taxes were a trade-off that we welcomed for our kids to get a stronger education, but now all that is changing right before our very eyes. It seems to me, and countless others, that Governor Christie is carrying out a personal vendetta against NJEA and by doing so he is hurting our students. With cuts in local school spending AND state education spending educators and parents have been told to expect larger class sizes with less assistance in the classroom, loss of programs and deep cuts in everything else the schools may need to function adequately. It's also important to note that the state has paid absolutely NOTHING into teacher's pension funds in 11 of the past 15 years. However the teachers have put in more than $6 million of their own money. This is a very scary time for all parents and educators across the state of New Jersey.
I think I'm ready to cash in, buy an RV and travel the country with my family. I can show them the country, take them to great places and teach them myself. Yes, I'm talking home-schooling on a brand new level! You'd be surprised how many people I share this idea with (only half joking) that are totally on board after today.
Okay, so I want to take a few minutes to tell you why I love the Ronald McDonald House Charities. In order to do this I will have to take you back to when Jay was born and in the NICU. John and I were so lucky that our home was only 2 miles from the hospital driveway to parking lot! We could be at the hospital in a matter of minutes for any reason and that was such a comfort to us, knowing we lived so close. It was a blessing not to have to plan our visiting time with Jay around "rush hour" and to be able to spend shift changes (the 2 hours we were not allowed in the NICU) at home, instead of a hospital waiting area. Jay was born in Texas, just north of the Dallas area and the hospital he was born at had a Level 3 NICU (the highest level). It had 40 beds and more often than not every bed was filled because babies from all over were sent there, not just "local" babies. In 2001 I started volunteering for the NICU where Jay spent the first 12 days of his life. I met a wonderful woman, named Michelle, who had twins in the NICU not long after Jay was there and she and I became fast friends. Together we were volunteer coordinators for a program in the NICU called TLC (Together Let's' Cope). It was a support program for families with babies in the NICU and the "support" was provided by "NICU graduates" like myself, Michelle and so many other parents who were fortunate enough to finally leave the NICU with their babies. Twice a month, sometimes more, we'd walk the NICU and talk to all the moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas, share with them who we were and explain our support program. During our time as volunteers we talked to so many families that lived in far East Texas, West Texas, even Oklahoma, driving 2-3 hours, one way, to spend time with their babies. I couldn't imagine driving all that way, spending as much time as possible with your baby and then having to drive all that way back again at the end of the day. I remember how drained I was at the end of the day. It's a common misconception among some that NICU families can't be as exhausted as other new families because we didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to take care of our babies. In reality it is just as much, if not more, draining because you are dealing with doctors, nurses, beeping machines and you're still getting up in the middle of the night to "pump" breast milk in an empty nursery, then marking those bottles with your last name to put in a freezer in the hospital with all the other bottles of pumped milk. Believe me, it's draining.
That's what leads me to share about the wonderful charity that is Ronald McDonald House. RMH provides private bedrooms and home-cooked meals (plus, so much more) for families that have to travel far from home to get treatment for their children. Whether it's a day, a month, or even longer - RMH believes familes are stronger when they are together. One of the best things about RMH is that families can take advantage of all they have to offer at little, or sometimes no, cost. This is a huge blessing for so many families knowing it's not going to "break the bank" for them to be able to stay close to their seriously ill or injured child as well as get them the best possible care. This is one of many reasons why we chose it as our "family charity" for 2010 and are collecting "Wish List" items all year for our local RMH. I invite everyone to check out our website at www.GiveIn2010.com throughout the year as we journal our volunteer efforts for RMH. I'd also like to call to your attention a very important fund raising event coming up next week and all you have to do is watch TV (and hopefully pick up your phone)! RMH Charities will be holding a fund raising phone bank event live during commercial breaks on CBS channel 3 from 3pm-8pm on Tuesday, March 9th. I encourage all local families to find out more about the Ronald McDonald House Charities by visiting their website at www.rmhc.org. I hope all you discover will inspire you to pick up your phone and make a donation to provide an extra ounce of comfort and care to the children and their families that turn to RMH during their time of need.
I just finished reading a wonderful memoir by Dani Shapiro called "Devotion”. I "dog-eared” so many pages that by the time I go back through and re-read I will have come close to reading it twice! My interest in the book was primarily Dani's search for her life's meaning with the hope that it would provide her with, or lead her to, peace. That is precisely where I sit today…on the exact same search. Just reading the book provided me with a sense of "sisterhood” as I could relate to so much she wrote about, from her infant son's life threatening illness and how she had trouble believing his illness was truly over (although it was) to her insecurities as a mother, to her spiritual journey – I was truly moved.
One page I "dog-eared” was a small chapter in the book where she talked about comparison. This spoke loudly to me as it is often something I do, actually I think it's something most of us do, but probably don't care to admit. We compare ourselves to others, especially other women and most especially other mothers. We're either sizing ourselves up or tearing ourselves down (I'm guilty of doing the latter to myself). WHY? That is a question I always ask myself. Why does it matter? Dani was on a meditation/spiritual retreat when she learned that it is comparison itself that is the problem and how it is "painful and unskillful to compare no matter what conclusion we draw. Comparison creates agitation in the mind.” She thought of how she felt when she compared herself – whatever the results - calling it "diminishing and slightly sickening”.
We, as women, have got to stop this cycle because it IS diminishing. We, as mothers, have got to stop this cycle because we are passing the act of comparison onto our children and that is not okay. It happened in my son's life quite a bit when we moved to NJ in 2008 and he struggled to fit in – being in a new school and new environment. However, lately it seems the trend is taking on a life of its own and morphing from comparison into criticism, and when it's women who are doing the criticizing - it's our daughters that become a future target. I see it happening to my daughter more with every passing year and she is only in the 3rd grade. Sadly, I even see it in my Kindergartners.
Jennifer Garner, the actress and mother, was recently quoted as saying she's noticed a "disturbing trend she can't abide by,” adding, "It just makes me crazy, whether it's between staying at home, going to work, how long you breastfeed, if you use formula … I feel like we should just assume everyone is doing the best they can. Women should take care of each other, not tear each other down.”
Rosario Dawson, the actress-activist, is quoted in the book "Secrets of Powerful Women” as saying, "Women have to get past the point where we diminish one another.”
Let's start a new chapter in our life and in the lives of our children and stop the comparisons, stop the criticizing! It may be that a beloved Disney character said it best – "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all” … Thumper
This is an absolutely beautiful video that every mom (and dad) must see!
Thanks to my friend Denise, in San Antonio, Texas, for warning me to have my box of tissues ready before watching. This is a sweetly spoken reminder that we all need to SLOW DOWN (again, my new mantra) and cherish every second we have with our children.
Posted By Jennifer Cook (Humphrey),
Monday, February 22, 2010
Updated: Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Do you know any nice kids? I mean regularly nice, well-mannered, polite kids? If so, I want to hear all about them...seriously. Tell me how they are nice. Do they say thank you and please? Do they say yes sir/ma'am and no sir/ma'am (and no that is not a "southern" thing as I've been asked routinely since moving to the Northeast). Do they help others? Do they smile and say hi to you when you say hi to them?
I see this kind of behavior less and less and it truly saddens me. This should be the norm, but it isn't...as a matter of fact, it's so NOT the norm that we tend to get suspicious when we run across someone that exhibits this type of behavior. A friend and colleague of mine said her daughter recently brought home a new friend, a boy, but just a friend. She said he referred to her and her husband and Mr. and Mrs. (insert last name here), said please and thank you, helped clean up after dinner and even took out the trash. Her husband said later that he felt the boy was "sucking up" to the parents and my friend used the word "suspicious". Well, long story short, turns out the boy was genuine - from a good family that held a high regard for this type of behavior. My friend later commented it's sad that we, as a society, now find this type of behavior suspicious instead of just the way it's supposed to be!
As a person who works with Kindergartners I often think we should stop trying to cram all the education fundamentals into their little minds and instead start teaching them how to be nice and respectful.
I read about bullies and kids who leave their schools, or worse, take their life because of other kids just flat out being mean! I witness, firsthand, parents shifting blame and refusing to take responsibility for their own child's actions and I want to know, why? Why is this happening and how/when did this become typical behavior?
There is a wonderful little book called, "Have You Filled a Bucket Today?" A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids, by Carol McCloud. This is a book written for Elementary aged kids and it teaches the idea that we all carry an invisible bucket. This bucket represents our mental and emotional health. When our buckets are full, we are happy and when our buckets are empty, or get dipped into (by a bucket dipper, or bully) then we are sad. It's a simple, yet oh so VERY important philosophy and I encourage every parent out there to get a copy of this book and share it with your child or children. It will be one of the most important things you do! (You can also check out the website www.bucketfillers101.com)
Lead by example! It is primarily your responsibility to start filling your child's bucket and teach them how to love and be kind to others.
This is my new mantra! I've got to learn to slow down! I recently returned from Florida where I spent a few days with my children, just the 3 of us. It was wonderful, precious time and I enjoyed every second we shared together. My favorite time was at night, when we were all in bed. We'd lie there with the lights off and talk and talk, about anything and everything. It was the best! They are at such fun ages, 9 and 11, and the things we discussed ranged from absolute silly to somewhat serious (they are 9 and 11 after all, so it didn't get downright serious). They are growing up so fast and I wanted to escape to a place where we could leave the day to day behind and take a break from the schedules and routines that seem to dictate our life…and just be "free”, if only for a few days.
Now we are home and the day to day cycle and the schedules, appointments and routines are back in full force and I can (and have) let myself become overwhelmed with all there is to do in a single day, but I learned something very valuable on our recent trip. I have got to learn to SLOW DOWN! I have got to start living in the moment more (and not feel guilty about it) because my life is happening right now, and so is my children's. I took this to heart over the weekend when my daughter wanted to snuggle with me on our sofa. As she and I flopped ourselves on our fluffy sofa cushions and got all comfy with our blankets wrapped around us, I noticed our coffee table had a solid layer of dust on it. My first impulse was to make my daughter sit up, toss my blanket off and go run to get a dust cloth and clean that darn table, because only then would it feel right to just lie around doing nothing with my daughter. However, I made myself slow down, relax and forget about the dusty coffee table – and I decided instead to enjoy sharing time with Jean-Louise and realize that if I let this moment go, I may not get it back. I could easily get too busy and she could be heavily involved in something else later in the day and our time together would never happen.
After we had moved on with our day I finally did get to that coffee table and I removed every bit of dust! Moments later my son, Jay, enjoyed a bowl of chips and smeared his greasy hands all over the table. I've decided I'll wait and see if the dust will cover them up!
Posted By Jennifer Cook (Humphrey),
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Updated: Thursday, February 11, 2010
I hate delivering bad news (but this story does have a happy ending), especially when it comes to Disney, a place I hold very dear to my heart for soooooo many reasons. But, with all the wacky weather back here at home, our recent Disney trip was extended by a couple of days due to our flight home getting cancelled. So many of you may be saying, "What a GREAT place to be stuck". Yes and No, the 'Yes' being that the weather was amazingly beautiful and it is after all Disneyworld...the happiest place on earth (unless you have to deal with customer service)! That should be their new logo! Plus, you need 2 things to enjoy being stranded in Disneyworld, 1) Money and lots of it, and 2) Time. We had neither. The kids needed to get back to school and I needed to get back to work. So, back to customer service. I had to inform the front desk that I would need the room for an extra night or two because our flight home had been canceled and we had nowhere else to go (the thousands of others that got stranded the day before we did were occupying all the airport hotels). After being put on hold I was told that I could stay in the room but that I would be charged the "non-discounted room rate" which was twice the amount I was currently paying for the room. I asked if they could please just extend my "package rate" for another day or two and was quite rudely told "No", but that maybe if I called reservations they could get me a better rate. I asked if I could please speak to a manager and was again told "No" because a manager was only going to tell me the same thing. So, not the "Disney" way, huh? Not at all happy with this answer, but desperate to get a better room rate I called reservations and explained my situation. After being asked many questions like "How many times have you visited the park in the last year? My answer, 1. When? August. What about the year before? My answer, yes, in November. Have you stayed at a Disney property more than 5 times since 2002? Yes. Okay, let me put you on hold. I was feeling pretty good at this point! Yep, they are gonna honor my package rate, if not give me something better...after all, I just proved what a loyal Disney customer I am! Well, when she returned to the phone I was informed that they would be able to give me a better rate! Oh boy, I though to myself...here it comes...okay, I'm sitting down now :) "We can give you $5.00 off the "non-discounted room rate". "WHAT"? While on hold I checked available rates online and that rate, even though still extremely high, is $15.00 less than what you are offering me. Again the explanation was that I had booked a "package" and they do not just extend current rates. This would have to be a new reservation and with no advance booking this was the best they could do. So, now I'm not only angry, but I'm in tears. I called the front desk back and the same female "cast member" that I spoke with earlier answers. "Put me through to your manager right now" I demanded! She tried to get me to explain to her why I needed to talk to a manager, but I wasn't budging. Finally, I am connected to a wonderful lady named Melissa. She is the manager and I am saved! I explained my situation to her and all that had transpired in the past 20 minutes with the unbelievably rude "Customer Service" and without hesitation she told me she would gladly honor my package room rate. She then inquired about how we were doing with park passes. When I told her that we didn't have anymore park passes because obviously we weren't planning on staying any extra days she told me that she wanted to give me park hopper passes for the day and she even went so far as to come to my cabin (yes, we stayed in the Ft. Wildnerness Cabins) and personally handed them to me. What an angel! I couldn't help but give her a big hug when she showed up at my cabin door. We talked for a few minutes about being moms and how stressful a vacation can be when the unplanned rears it's ugly head. Before she went to work for Disney she and her daughter ended up stranded too and she knew exactly what I was going through. What a wonderful person! Just as I was losing all faith in Disney, she thankfully swooped in and saved not only the day, but the Disney reputation as well! Although I will admit this encounter with the "not so Disney friendly" has me a bit cautious about any future trips. I wonder how many other "stranded" guests just settled and ending up paying an extra arm and leg to extend their trip until they could get home. Maybe it's time to take a break from Disney and consider other options for our next trip? I don't know what we'll do in the future, but I will forever be thankful to Melissa for doing the right thing in helping a stranded mom and her children make the best of our last days at Disney.
RSS
